One-Way Streets and Conversations

Why is it that my best blog ideas come at the most inopportune moments? Take, for instance, this morning when I made a left-hand turn onto Louisiana and noticed that the street was now a two-way instead of a one-way, meaning that I now can't speed around all the other cars like a crazed woman, barely missing the red lights, so that I can get up to work by 9:05 a.m. instead of 9:06. And I'm wondering, as I listen to the oldies, if the car in front of me is watching my head turn from side to side and realizing that I just noticed the newly-painted double lines.

Or take, for instance, the time when I'm sitting on the couch watching TV on a restful Saturday afternoon and I realize that I am now having a one-way conversation with my dog (unless you count his slight head-tilts as a show of understanding) about why he hasn't pooped all day.

Or the way that I explain situations to people in my head and make them feel what I feel by my words alone, only to forget that phrase (she looked bluntly bare with her wet skin lying on top of his) or that specific description (of the strawberries dripping sweet beads of wet chocolate down the lavender-colored wedding cake) when I sit down at my computer to write. It's like I need a typewriter on hand that will take down my blog thoughts and descriptions at times when I can't, like when I'm sitting in the back corner of a bar watching the fluidly movements of a blonde woman, penis bouquet in hand and veil on head, try to get down from the stage after grabbing a barman's crotch during a vulgar dance rendition of Three Dog Night's "Joy to the World."

I swear, it's like a phenomenon.