Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Wedding

Well, I lied. I don't want to continue my previous post. I'm feeling better and not having bad dreams every other night, so I don't want to.

Instead, I want to talk about something fun! I haven't done a post-wedding blog, but let me just say it's likely because I have been trying to take it easy. I am so glad the wedding went well, and really glad that it's over with, because now it gives us reason to talk about things other than the wedding, which is nice for a change.

But back to the wedding, for now. Everything seemed to go off without a hitch. I think part of it was because I had just decided that I wasn't going to let the little things get to me anymore, but most of it was because I had really, really good bridesmaids. Even the night before the wedding when I told them I didn't care whether or not the arch had flowers on it or not, they went out of their way to go get some and decorate the arch the day of the wedding. I'll admit, it looked a lot better decorated than not. Everyone worked together really well, and even my parents, who sometimes can't stand each other, held it together for my sake, and my younger sister even helped out. Not to mention my cousins from Texas who came in early and were ROCK STARS at getting the food area set up and everything in order. I honestly didn't realize how much I needed them there, but I'm sure glad they were!

I've heard from more than one person who was there that I was the calmest bride they had ever seen. I took that as a compliment. I had always hoped I would not be a crazy bride. :-)

But when I look back at the 1,000+ pictures that were taken, the most common theme in all of them of me is that I was smiling. And not just cheesing for the camera, but really, honestly, full-on huge smiling. That's the part that I'll take away and cherish. I was and always have been so happy with Mike.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

That's just life...

For the past month or so, I've been going at things full-speed ahead. Ever since we got back from the honeymoon I've been in high gear, you could say. From making personal calls on the way to and from work, to checking my blackberry for new messages every 5 minutes, to having a shorter tolerance than usual. I don't like it when I get this way. Going from work to home, trying to give the proper attention to the "important" things in life (like having a clean house, keeping all of the laundry in check and maintaining an appropriately-attentioned dog), I'm starting to think that I've lost myself.

For instance, I used to be (and generally still am) a very tolerant person. Patience is not a strong point for me, but it's usually not a real weak one, either. But here lately, I've found that I have no patience for the little everyday annoyances in life: Being on an elevator with a handful of other people who get on just to go up or down one or two floors/Being in one of the 6 elevators my building has and stopping on every other floor to pick someone new up; being behind someone who is walking really slowly; waiting on maintenance people to come to my house, etc. You get the picture. I mean, sure, these are everyday things and they're not fun to deal with, but lately I've had less patience than normal.

It seems like I just can't make myself slow down lately. I feel like I have been running to keep up with something, although I might dare admit that I'm starting to wonder if it's something I've been running from instead.

Running from what? Well, I haven't quite figured that out yet, although I do have some ideas. This week has been tough at work and I'm finding myself bogged down with projects lately. Not to mention a little stressed and annoyed about traveling on yet again another of Mike's weekends off (which are rare) this weekend.

But it's also been quite a tough week personally, too. Every night this week, I've had a different bad dream. I usually don't think much of my dreams, but then again, I usually don't have bad ones this often. It's also been quite an emotional week: I'm cranky, I have a short fuse for minor annoyances, and some days I'm just depressed.

I know this is just life as it is some days. But I've been struggling this week.

To be continued...