Wednesday, July 15, 2009

That's just life...

For the past month or so, I've been going at things full-speed ahead. Ever since we got back from the honeymoon I've been in high gear, you could say. From making personal calls on the way to and from work, to checking my blackberry for new messages every 5 minutes, to having a shorter tolerance than usual. I don't like it when I get this way. Going from work to home, trying to give the proper attention to the "important" things in life (like having a clean house, keeping all of the laundry in check and maintaining an appropriately-attentioned dog), I'm starting to think that I've lost myself.

For instance, I used to be (and generally still am) a very tolerant person. Patience is not a strong point for me, but it's usually not a real weak one, either. But here lately, I've found that I have no patience for the little everyday annoyances in life: Being on an elevator with a handful of other people who get on just to go up or down one or two floors/Being in one of the 6 elevators my building has and stopping on every other floor to pick someone new up; being behind someone who is walking really slowly; waiting on maintenance people to come to my house, etc. You get the picture. I mean, sure, these are everyday things and they're not fun to deal with, but lately I've had less patience than normal.

It seems like I just can't make myself slow down lately. I feel like I have been running to keep up with something, although I might dare admit that I'm starting to wonder if it's something I've been running from instead.

Running from what? Well, I haven't quite figured that out yet, although I do have some ideas. This week has been tough at work and I'm finding myself bogged down with projects lately. Not to mention a little stressed and annoyed about traveling on yet again another of Mike's weekends off (which are rare) this weekend.

But it's also been quite a tough week personally, too. Every night this week, I've had a different bad dream. I usually don't think much of my dreams, but then again, I usually don't have bad ones this often. It's also been quite an emotional week: I'm cranky, I have a short fuse for minor annoyances, and some days I'm just depressed.

I know this is just life as it is some days. But I've been struggling this week.

To be continued...

1 comment:

Jennifer Narrow said...

I'm sorry. The best thing I can tell you is just breathe. I have been having the same feelings, but they have been happening for about a month now. Going to grad school and planning a wedding don't work well together!! If you want to go get a mani or pedi, I am willing to go with you!!