Having a baby and all, part 2

We had talked about it off and on, and the truth is, I didn't really want to quit working. I like working. I like making money and building my career. And truthfully, I never really saw myself as being the stay-at-home type. I was scared.

What if I stay at home and get bored being "just Mom"? How will this departure affect me if and when I decide to return to the workplace? Do I have what it takes to stay at home and be a good mom? What if it makes the depression and anxiety worse?

There were a lot of what if's. That's what took me so long to decide. I kept looking for a sign. I prayed about it, and I felt sure that I would recognize the sign and know what it was that I was supposed to do. I was waiting for the right moment, the right sign. That security of knowing exactly what I should do.

I guess you could say I didn't get quite what I was expecting. The truth is, I didn't know if I was doing the right thing.

But I guess necessity breeds invention and some things you learn after the fact. A family friend told me recently that I looked as though the stress had just "faded away" from my face. The funny thing about that is that she had no idea what had been going on.

What I do know is that I am truly enjoying being at home with my little man. I feel better. I look better. I am a lot less stressed and I am happier. And I guess it shows.