Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Having a baby and all, part 2

We had talked about it off and on, and the truth is, I didn't really want to quit working. I like working. I like making money and building my career. And truthfully, I never really saw myself as being the stay-at-home type. I was scared.

What if I stay at home and get bored being "just Mom"? How will this departure affect me if and when I decide to return to the workplace? Do I have what it takes to stay at home and be a good mom? What if it makes the depression and anxiety worse?

There were a lot of what if's. That's what took me so long to decide. I kept looking for a sign. I prayed about it, and I felt sure that I would recognize the sign and know what it was that I was supposed to do. I was waiting for the right moment, the right sign. That security of knowing exactly what I should do.

I guess you could say I didn't get quite what I was expecting. The truth is, I didn't know if I was doing the right thing.

But I guess necessity breeds invention and some things you learn after the fact. A family friend told me recently that I looked as though the stress had just "faded away" from my face. The funny thing about that is that she had no idea what had been going on.

What I do know is that I am truly enjoying being at home with my little man. I feel better. I look better. I am a lot less stressed and I am happier. And I guess it shows.


Kristin said...

You did the right thing, no doubt. Glad the stress has relaxed and it was so great seeing your name pop up on the caller ID today!

Life as a Convert (Khourt) said...

Having a baby is hard work. Having a baby and a job? I cant imagine!