A Letter to Baby

Dear Baby,

Words cannot begin to express how overcome with joy I am that you are really here. I think it has finally hit me that I am going to be a mother. I already love you so much, I can't imagine being able to love you even more once you get here, but I know I will. What an overwhelming feeling!

I think it is starting to hit your Daddy, too, that you are really alive. He got to hear your heartbeat for the first time the other day, and you should have seen the smile on his face. Later that night, when he was tucking me in, he kissed you goodnight. It was the sweetest thing. He asked me if I thought he would be a good dad, and I said absolutely. I have no doubts about him whatsoever.

Oh, Baby, how you will change things for us. But I believe you will change them for the better. There won't be a day that goes by that we will regret bringing you here. You're already changing us, and I love you for that.

I'm pretty sure I felt you move for the first time yesterday. What a surreal feeling. I wish your daddy could have felt it too, but I'm sure there will be many more times that he will, and I look forward to them.

I love you.

I Am Not Myself

Oh wow. Pregnancy has done a weird thing to me. Make that several weird things. I don't even know who I am anymore.

• Case in point: Nothing in the world matters to me except for eating and sleeping. Priorities like work, household chores and playing with the dog have taken a backseat to my eating and sleeping habits, which brings me to my second case in point:
• Must. Get. At. Least. 10. Hours. Of. Sleep. At. Night. Bedtime now is 9 p.m. And I mean, bedtime - not falling-asleep-on-the-couch time. And sometimes that's not enough, forcing me to take mini-naps throughout the day.
• Ffffoooooooooooooodddddddddd! I am like a walking food disposal. In the past two weeks, I've went through 4-5 boxes of cereal and the same amount of half gallons of milk. I finally got smart tonight at the grocery store (the first time I've been to the grocery store in at least 3 weeks) and bought 3 boxes of cereal and a whole gallon of milk this time. If there is not food within reach at all hours of the day and night, I go into a panic. I think this is the first time in my life where I've felt "food insecure." And Lord help me (and my husband, bless his heart) if there is not food in sight when I get those sudden hunger pains. I'm talking Grand-Slam-breakfast-at-Denny's hunger.

Now, I've always been a healthy eater (healthy as in, I LOVE to EAT), so the hunger part may not come as a surprise. However, the hardest part about the hunger thing is that I can't eat as much at one time as I used to, so it takes me pretty much all afternoon to eat my lunch. It's like I'm eating 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches, and 2 dinners; and a bowl or 3 of cereal in between (or in the middle of the night) to keep those hunger pains away. I guess you really do "eat for two."

The napping thing, however, is sooo not me. I am not a napper. I rarely take naps, and if I do, it's usually by accident. Before now, I had this weird thing about taking naps where I thought I would miss something if I fell asleep, so I just never took naps. Nowadays, if I get a nap in during the day I am one happy kid, let me tell ya. I've also never been the type to just let things like housework and priorities go. My house is a disaster area right now and it really bothers me, but I just don't have the energy to do anything about it. Mike has been really good at helping me out on that end, as well as running to the store for more cereal and milk 3 times a week. One night, he actually picked up dinner, went to the store when I didn't even ask him to to get me more food, then came home and did the dishes, again without me even asking. All while I sat on the couch barely able to nibble on my dinner. I am definitely realizing how lucky I am. I don't know how anybody could do this on their own.

Introducing...

Baby P!